Tuesday, January 27, 2009

I am a jerk.

In a move solely designed to poke at "anonymous" from the comments section in my last post (I know who it is), I have decided to post this video. Anonymous will almost assuredly have a stroke while watching this, but I think he will also get a laugh out of it. Anonymous, this is for you:


katdish said...

Ugh! That brings back some bad hair memories!

wv: pyrocrib (seriously)

Anonymous said...

Actually better than Van Halen in several ways. Chief among them being the fact that these guy's don't get radio play. I'd like to think it's because at some core level people will admit something sucks if their friends aren't listening to it, if only the same standards applied to VH, Kiss, Nugent, and AC/DC.

Timbo said...

Really? That's all I get? A reasonably well written and thoughtful comment?

Man, that sucks. I was expecting at least a few facial ticks and possibly a grand mal upon witnessing the splendor that is the four-necked star guitar....

By the way, as always, I have to point out that I disagree with your addition of AC/DC in that group. Early AC/DC is just as kick ass today as it was then. Hell, craptacular groups like the Killers and The Strokes would give a leg to get that kind of sound...

Well, whatever. I think on the VH and AC/DC subjects, we will never agree. Here is a list of what we can agree on:
1. Slash is one bad dude.
2. Clapton can be godlike.

Also, you will be happy to know that I have went back and listened and have altered my opinion of David Gilmours tone. I still hate Pink Floyd, but once I got past that hatred, that is a sweet tone he has working.

Anonymous said...

Every aspect of AC/DC's sound signature has a contemporary (or predecessor) that was/ is superior. The lead singer's novelty voice is neither pleasant nor rebellious. It's simply monolithic aggregate, every tone is gray, muddled, and abrasive. Tom Waits is easier to understand. From there you've got the "stick boom" drum theme better modeled through the Rolling Stones, The Clash, or hell, even Chaka Khan! Finally, the guitar which should be the very definition of a bands sound. In this case it's the stark treble lacking the ice of Albert Collins, the hook of Bob Marley, the restraint of
Bruce Springsteen or the false harmonic technique of ZZ Top.

What you get is a "trademark" sound that's instantly unlikable yet hard to cleanse from the musical palette. If the great catalog of 1980's American Rock were laid out for someone who'd never heard it before, AC/DC would absolutely NOT make the top ten.

Predicting the future from here, The Killers, The Strokes, and the rest of the simpering nimrod pansy girl pant wearers will be summarily dismissed to the truck stop music barrel. They'll live out their days famous to only those unwilling to spend a dollar more for something worth hearing.

For the record, I DON'T think they'd give ANY body part to sound like anything more masculine than Breast cancer on an ovary. They serve to dampen the cardboard underpinnings of the music industry. An industry that's already shaking under the weight of overblown "classics" and the radio empires that made them.

I look forward to a Renaissance of masculinity without the hokum. Pearl Jam had just touched upon that frontier before Vedder became a worthless drunk. Slash certainly is a benchmark in this regard if for no other reason than he new not to talk much. Plus it was cool when musicians dressed like normal working guy's. Every other variation on that has been tried and it's always embarrassing in hind sight.

Timbo said...

I liked Pearl Jam's first album. I like Eddie Vedder's voice OK, though I have always thought Chris Cornell blew him out of the water in every way possible. Additionally, I can't understand what Vedder is saying about 75% of the time. This doesn't bother me in metal so much because it's almost expected, but when you sing in a clear voice, it seems reasonable to expect to understand the lyrics.

What I don't like about Pearl Jam is that they very quickly became pompous blowhards. Like, Rock and Roll changes the world when you let it run free, not when you write songs specifically geared towards that end. There is a fine line between naturally writing music that strikes a chord and intentionally trying to write music that strikes a chord, and from their sophomore album on, Pearl Jam had become a victim of their own hubris.

Honestly, I think the same could be said of Nirvana to a certain extent. The last Nirvana album was good, but it didn't quite have the edge that every other album, to include the unplugged album, had to it.

Also, Slash hardly dressed as a normal guy, unless you spend a good deal of time around dudes that dress in leather pants and top hats on a regular basis.

Anonymous said...

Could not possibly agree more about Pearl Jam with the exception that his vocals were understandable in the first album. After that, he degenerated into a smoldering drunk. Suckling their own hubris is pretty much their mainstay M.O. since album 2.

As for Slash not dressing like a normal guy. I'd point out for the record that he wore jeans more than leather pants. He also went on stage in work shirts pretty much every performance. And the leather pants were biker pants. Every rider I knew had a pair just like them.

As for the top hat, the man has a Jew-fro which is not particularly attractive, nor manageable. Granted the top hat is not a fashion staple of the working class, but a mullet-fro blooming out of a trucker hat embodies the hyperbole that is the consummate hick. A bit of Victorian headgear gives an all American cowboy aesthetic without lame country music stereotypes. Honestly, can you think of a single "normal" hat he could wear without looking like a retard? Plus, I think one iconic thing should be allowed per band. Without a doubt, Slash's profile is one of the most recognizable in all of Rock. Notice that I didn't take Angus to task on his School boy outfit for the exact same reason.

katdish said...

Both of you completely overlook the amazing contributions into the world of 80's music by artist such as Madonna, The Go-Go's, The Bangles and Tiffany.

(snort!) Just wanted to sprinkle some random girlyness into your bloggity man-cave!

In all seriousness, every artist (I use this term loosely) either of you mentioned are not worthy to lick the boots of this man.

You just got served, SUCKERS! (I don't know why I say stuff like that sometimes, I'm such a dork.)

Anonymous said...

When it comes to raw "open channel" throw down guitar, SRV was the second coming Texas version of Hendrix.

What's infuriating, is that EVH (which started all this) is the most referenced influence of every musician interviewed in guitar magazines yet his contribution to music is very literally one annoying double tap technique.

SRV, Hendrix, Clapton, Albert Collins, and Tom f'ing Morello, ALL brought more than one advance in technique to music yet we STILL have to pretend that EVH was a sacred pillar of music.